Winter Coats and Tiger's Strips

So another winter is upon us and once again I find myself at the ridicule of my peers. To answer them simply, "yes I know it is cold outside and yes I know I am not wearing a jacket." I get it, these friends, whom many of which are women, are showing their maternal concern. I think I draw the line when the male teller at Wells Fargo makes a comment. I have many reasons for not wearing a traditional winter coat during this time of year. Like to hear them, here they go.

1. My body is a furnace. Most peoples body's operate at 98.6 degrees. My Body thinks that shit is too cold. My body only reached 98.6 degrees on a Kelvin scale. Even just this morning I was leaving the YWCA after working out and I had to stand outside for like five minutes without my hat on and my jacket unzipped, or I would have sweat on the bus for its complete 20 minute trip. Don't even get me started on exiting the shower during the summer. I sit around wetter then a waitress sitting shotgun in Tiger Woods' Escalade. Or any woman for that matter. Jesus, who didn't Tiger fuck.
2. I don't like being bogged down. I like to travel as light as possible. A hoodie and gloves, and a hat and a jacket, plus long johns, and knee socks, and boots. I can't handle all of that. I feel more over dressed then Elin Woods feels next to any of Tiger's whores (that's two). And a scarf is like a 21st century noose, not exactly my kind of strange fruit.
   
3. Where am I supposed to put all of this shit. I'm 26, my friends and I like to go to the bars, have a drink or 6, sings some karaoke (No diggity), and not sweat my ass off (no doubt). Where the hell am I supposed to put this big ass coat? Coat check? Not taking my 3 dollars. Hanger? I'm not just leaving this at the front of the restaurant. Lay it over the stool? I don't want mine or someone elses booty sweat all over it. And it you put it over the back of a chair, it will slip up and get all nasty (like a New York Club Hostess, that's a Hat Trick my Cablinasian friend). If I wear a hoodie (and I love hoodies) Im good to go in ever situation.
   

So am I cold, not as much as you may think. Do I appreciate your concern, yes. I just don't need to hear it every day. Once every two weeks is just fine.

So back to this Tiger Woods thing. Wow. Everyone is coming out of the woodwork to claim their piece of the pie. Waitresses, porn stars, hostesses, I think one woman was a cat lady. Seems like Tiger would hit anything with his 5 wood...

I guess this makes me wonder a few things. Is Tiger a sex addict? Is it just cause he can? Do these girls do something Elin won't? More often? At all? How did she find out? Couldn't Tiger have been more selective? Why does everyone care (aside from his family)? And most of all, why is everyone so surprised? What reason has there been to think that Tiger is any different that any other athlete. If Tiger was a basketball player, he would be playing golf this weekend. Shawn Kemp is still discovering children at a rate of 1.2 every month. I'm not excusing wat he did, not really cool, especially since Elin is pretty hot, but really it isn't anyones business. And I (sadly) an interested by it, but not really surprised. More often then not males (especially pro athletes) are a product of their surroundings and opportunities. They were there, so he pounced. Though I bet when he, Federer and Jeter found that lost cat, they didn't know they were in for a wild night of love making.

Randoms....

So I just watched the movie Terminator Salvation. Meh. Were there a few ok action set pieces sure, but between those events the acting just kinda laid there like Terri Schiavo. But even Jesus would have pulled the plug on this one. Plus Common should stop making movies cause he can't act. He literally made what should be a hopeful phrase "It worked!" sound worse than his album Universal Mind Control. If plugging a different anonymous black man or rapper into Wanted or Smokin' Aces means he goes back to making good albums and not crap club music, then please do it. Seeing 1984 Arnold was nice though. Bring in James Cameron, since the only good Terminators were the first two.

Speaking of Cameron. Avatar comes out in a few weeks. Even the TV commercials say "movies won't be the same" after it comes out. Really? I guess the 3d is supposed to be cool (though i think it only really works with animation, like UP or Coraline(both very good by the way)). Paradis has pointed out that he has yet to make a bad movie, which I naturally wanted to argue. After running through his filmography I realized he was right. Terminator, T2, Abyss, True Lies, even Titanic reached levels of high comedy with people ping ponging of propellers and the band continuing to play their instruments as people are sliding off the ship. Hilarious. But I'm not sold yet. Right now it looks like Matrix Revolutions meets Dragonheart. And all those 12 foot tall blue people creep me out. And you know that they are going to have some gross lizard sex. If you ride your dragon home after a one night stand, is it a fly of shame? Glide of Shame? I dunno, I probably just go see Sherlock Homes over Christmas. Cause who doesn't love a Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr bromance.

Lost is only two months away. Final Season. Whose giddy? I am. I just hope Walt comes back and schools everyone with his teleporting, backwards talking, bird homing skills. And that Sawyer just talks back to people. And Ben utters the phrase "fickle bitch" every episode. can't wait.

I'm currently stuck listening to 5 songs ad nausea. In no particular order.

• Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare) by Kid Cudi. Maybe my favorite track off of his great debut album. Seek out the album if you like introspective, forward moving hip hop. Plus this track is produced by Ratatat and features MGMT. Pretty, pretty good.
• Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I was sad to hear that this band was in town last week and I didn't know about it. Nice pseudo-country rock track with a infectious hook (Home, Let me come Home, Home is Whenever I'm with you) and I love when a song breaks down into a little speak along story.
  
• 40 Day Dream by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Another great track from this new group. Worth listening to just the following verse:

I been sleepin for 60- days and

Nobody better pinch me
Bitch I swear I’ll go crazy
She got jumper cable lips
She got sunset on her breath now
I inhaled just a little bit
Now I got no fear of death now

• My Girls by Animal Collective. Simply put, its like listening to Brian Wilson on acid. Wait, that's what the Beach Boys did. Well then its like Brian Wilson, Roger Troutman, and Daft Punk making a song about love, family, and contentment with both.
• La Vie en Rose by Louis Armstrong. My old timey kick brought me around to this gem that I had heard before, but never gave its proper due until recently (thanks for the heads up Chaus). Just a beautiful song. Go download it now.
  

Also, I just found my second blog that I made called Simons' Says on the left side links. So if you are looking for more of my politically insensitive and grammatically incorrect rants, help yourself.

Turkey Day

Pleasantly uncomfortable. The only way to truly describe a good Thanksgiving. A little turkey, some mashed potaters, end it with some 7up cake (what!?) and that's good stuff. Makes me wonder about a few things I'm grateful for.

DVR- I actually spent the first couple hours of my day today catching up on some of my shows. Since there isn't anything good to watch during the day (Young and the Restless notwithstanding) I can get my fill of The Office, Modern Family, or V in my jammies. Beautiful.

Micro-Brews- Sometimes you need something tasty to sip on and we have some great midwest breweries. Summit, Surly, Lift Bridge, Leinie's, Bell's, Two Brothers, and Furthermore, just to name a few. Check out Surly's Coffee Bender if you love a good stout.

Swill- Sometimes you just need a cheap PBR or Premium to was chill out after a long day at work.

Metro Transit- I would like to say I ride the bus as a way to help Al Gore battle global warming, but I'm not. I just like to read for twenty minutes and listen to my iPod. Plus there is no better people watching. Cat ladies, homeless people, kids ditching school, and people who talk to themselves about who is after their organs. Plus that little girl who asked her mom if the person leaving the bus was going to catch another one was too adorable (cue canned "awwww").

Pizza- Even a bad pizza is still edible. I'd eat a Jack's pizza everyday if i had to, but Dulano's is just down the street. And they have awesome cheese bread.


Vikings- Our team is super sweet from top to bottom. I'm almost ready to accept Grandpa Brett as our *cough* leader.

Cartoons- I love a good cartoon, especially ones that play to the top of their intelligence. UP, WALL*E, The Iron Giant, Lion King, Emperors New Groove, and the movie I had the pleasure of seeing post turkey, Fantastic Mr. Fox. Ok, technically its claymation, bu you get the point. Check it out nowish. Funny, heartwarming, smart and plenty of cussing.



New Twins Stadium- Outdoor, full view baseball. Delicious... I just hope they honor the Mall of America Field at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome by keeping the name Dome Dogs.

Twin Cities Music scene- Whether its home grown music like Atmosphere, Heirupsecs, or Solid Gold, or the countless great bands we have come through to our many sweet venues, not much beats seeing a live show.

Finally, obviously I am grateful for all my family and friends. Without them I wouldn't have anyone to bounce and of these random ruminations off of. That and they are supportive and stuff. Love you peeps. You all know who you are. Ok, sorry not you. Stop crying. Wow I thought they would never leave this blog. Looks like its just the cool kids now. See you soon, pals.

The truth is here, the truth is here...

So I had the benefit of seeing the Brother Ali concert at First Avenue this past Friday. First of all, if you are a fan of hip hop music, you need to do yourself a favor and check him out. His four albums are all great, all with their own sound, feel and voice. His latest album, US, is maybe his most personal and at the same time his most open, spitting tales of homosexuality, slavery, and rape on top of his own struggles to be a father and a husband. As most likely the only white albino rapping muslin in the states, whether talking about himself (Forest Whitiker from the album Shadows on the Sun) or the Government questionable practices (Uncle Sam Goddamn from The Undisputed Truth) he attacks the mic with a fearlessness that is refreshing in a climate of safe ring-tone rap. That same fire is all over the stage in his live shows, and First Ave the other night was no different. When Ali spits, you listen, something akin to lyrical assault. And when he isn't commanding all of your attention, then the sound scape of Minneapolis producer Ant have no issue holding court. simply put, you need to check him out.

But something confused me the other night. As a Tall-American (6'2") I take a bit of pride in being able to see an reach just about anything. My friend Chaus is height-challenged (5'2"-5'5", depending on heel size) often finds herself missing out on things. Well some how, at the show on Friday, I felt myself in her shoes on numerous occasions. Somehow, every few minutes I found myself behind someone taller then the one before the last. At 6'2", I should have issues seeing anything on stage, but here I am blocked out. It made me angry and not at all envious for my lankyless amiga. Then one of the skyscrapers in front of me thought everything I said was hilarious. Am i kinda funny? Sure. Can you laugh at something I say to my friends? Yeah, i guess. Can you look at me and smile every time you enjoy one of my musings on life? Not unless you're 36-24-36 (maybe if shes five-three). I really wish his girlfriend (and I use that term lightly) would have intervened, but I guess she just likes him to be happy. Boy was he, just wish he'd stop Lookin' at Me Sideways.

Example of people at the show.
(L-r. Fish, Frog, Monkey, Chaus, Simons, HOMO-Erectus, Brother Ali)

Elizabeth Lamber: The Future of Female Sports

Yep, I said it. This maybe the most opinionated thing I've said in my blogging history. But Elizabeth Lamber is the missing link between the popularity of female and male sports.

To start, maybe you need to know who Lamber is. This video via YouTube (via ESPN) should do nicely. You watch it. Pretty messed up stuff huh. But after the initial viewing, I actually thought about it. Hair pulling aside (meow), which was pretty brutal, she was guilt of playing hard and, sure, a little rough.

As a male who played sports in some organized capacity since I was 8, I have grown accustom to the physicality of competitive sports. Honestly you just don't make it very far in male sports unless you can battle. Are females not competitive? No, but I would argue that with sports there is a big difference between the top and the bottom of the competition spectrum. I feel this same spectrum is narrower in male sports because more males play with what is called a "killer instinct".

Michael Jordan is widely considered to be the greatest player in basketball history. Did he train harder then most players, absolutely. But what really made him the nest is that he wanted to be the best at any cost. Namely, he was a dick. He has done a great job of hiding it during his time in the NBA, but one only has to look into his basketball hall of fame speech (or the cliff notes version, via this Rick Reilly Blog entry on the same subject). He is self- serving, egotistical, and even upon winning 6 NBA Titles, still not completely satisfied with how he left the game. Its not enough to kill the horse, he get his joy out of beating and dismembering it.

Another example is Kobe Bryant. We all know he is willing to take what he wants... But as arguably the best player in the game today, he plays the game the way it has to be played to get ahead. Rough. He twice in as many weeks got fined for elbowing a player in the face after they blocked his shot (all in a fluid athletic motion, damn you Kobe). Last year he got heat for elbowing Houston Rockets player Ron Artest in the face during the playoffs. The results? A NBA title and now Artest is a Laker. Artest respects the way that he and the Lakers play the game. Probably how much they pay as well, but really Artest, a hard nosed defensive stopper, wants to play with like-minded rough players. Aka Winners. Brutal, sure, but its what get and keeps people interested.

You can say what you want about lack of athleticism in female sports, but that's bullshit. There is plenty of talent there. I could care less if there is dunking in the WNBA, what bothers me is the divide between the good and the not as good. The ones who will play rough to get ahead, and those that complain about it.

Some of Lamber actions in the New Mexico - BYU game were a bit much, but even she hit it on the head when she said to the New York Times that she is being judged differently because she is a girl.

“I definitely feel because I am a female it did bring about a lot more attention than if a male were to do it,” Lambert said. “It’s more expected for men to go out there and be rough. The female, we’re still looked at as, Oh, we kick the ball around and score a goal. But it’s not. We train very hard to reach the highest level we can get to. The physical aspect has maybe increased over the years. I’m not saying it’s for the bad or it’s been too overly aggressive. It’s a game. Sports are physical.”

When more women can play aggressively and physical, the attention from the masses will notice. Anyone who has ever seen a Premier League Futbol (European Male Soccer to us Yankees) knows that all of those things that happened during her game, happens in the first half of most games. Why can't it happen in female sports too. I'd watch more often. Maybe that's sexist, but I prefer to think its really just survival of the fittest.

Movie You Should Probably See Nowish: UP

I love Pixar. Almost every time they make a movie they out do themselves. Toy Story, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Cars (maybe not as much Cars, but still better than most), and Wall-E. Every movie seems to out do the last one in terms of quality, look, and depth of characters. Pixar doesn't simply make cartoons, they make animated films that span not only the basics of entertaining kids, but hook grown ups as well with serious issues and character development. Not that these aren't things written many times before, but it never hurts to point it out again.

With the last two movies, I think Pixar has really hit stride in terms the messages it will put into a "children's movie". With Wall-E, Pixar made a love story that crossed over language barriers and social structures. It managed to be heartwarming and critical of the increasingly wasteful and lazy ways our society uses it resources. Be those resources natural or personal, it found a way to address them that was not only pointed and subtle, but all the while hilarious. Not a small feat, but it seemed almost effortless in their hands.

With UP, they managed to top what I thought was my favorite of their films (and maybe my favorite animated movie ever). I don't know of many films that can start with such a heartwarming and devastatingly real love story in its first twenty minutes, almost completely devoid of dialog. I dare you to make it out of the movie without crying once (let along those first twenty minutes). But have no fear, what happens then is an uproariously funny movie about an old man fulfilling his wife's last wish. It's like the Bucket List, but with real live humans. Yeah, I said it. The movie is completely worth watching simply for the dog Dug (great name), and his particular hate for squirrels.

I don't want to say too much. Part of the pleasure of the movie is the details and discoveries you make along the way. But if it is available to you, do not hesitate to go pick it UP... sorry.

Solid Gold & Other Random Thoughts...

So I went to see Solid Gold at First Ave on Friday night. Well first while I was waiting for the rest of my party, I grabbed a beer at Seven Sushi next door. Oh how I love swanky over-priced bars. I took a seat at the bar between the foreigners who don't understand tipping practices (that's racist) and the ragtag group of hot women and sexually confused men (metrosexual? just a silly code word for a closeted wanna be). All of them drinking cosmos that they think should be a deeper color or red despite the fact that it is a martini and should be filled with liquor. I'm sure they payed like $12 for it, why they wouldn't want all that liquor for whats the price of a 750ml of vodka in most liquor stores, I don't know. I fact why even go to Seven Sushi in the first place? I have enjoyed their happy hour, sure, but if I realized that it was going to cost me $6.50 for a Heineken I probably would have just brown bagged a forty and hung out with some bums outside the Timberwolves game until my peps got downtown (there were more homeless people outside the game then there were fans inside the Target Center). I guess most of the women inside Seven were pretty hot, what men won't pay to be near them I guess.

Oh well, Seven aside, Solid Gold show was awesome. If you haven't heard of them, check out their album Bodies of Water. The show was sold out, though you couldn't tell until the second band came out, The Hood Internet. Pretty good DJing group, though it ran probably twenty minutes too long. Some highlights of their set included playing Modest Mouse's Float on vocals over Kanye's Paranoid beat and Tag Team's Whoop There it is over LCD Soundsystem's Someone Great. Great stuff indeed. I definatly give them props for their wide range of tastes, including songs from Ratatat, Michael Jackson, Talking Heads (fa fa fa fa fa), and even Cyndi Lauper. Can't wait to see Brother Ali next week.

Just finishing up Season one of Mad Men. Great show. The only think I hate more then Donald Draper is Pete. Glad to see Cooper tell Pete off about trying to blackmail Draper though. The penultimate episode Nixon vs. Kennedy was probably the best of the season. With the great blackmail storyline, Draper's morally conflicted past, the election night debauchery at the office and the nerdy married guy who looks like Seth Rogan actually getting some action. Funny, smart, smooth and tense. Great show. Too bad Peggy is getting fat as she starts getting more Copy work to do. She probably is carrying Pete's asshole baby.

Not sure way, but Frank Sinatra has been my white noise sleepy time music this past week. Nothing like hearing that a lady is a tramp or him tell you that he like making love to random women he simply glances at (Strangers in the Night). Though I don't know if it gets better than Fly me to the Moon or My Way. So soothing. I think I may just take a nap right now. Be nice an rested for the Vikings as they trounce the Lions (now only the second worst team in the league!). With their one win, the Lions should be singing the It Was a Very Good Year.

The first day of the rest of my life...

So Monday was the first day I have warn glasses in about eighteen years. It is also been roughly ten years sense I had contact lenses to correct my vision. I've warn them for about a grand total of two days and the only think I am sure of is that my eyes sucked quite a bit.

Actually to be more specific it is my right eye that isn't keeping up its end of things. It's like the having anti-lock brakes. You know that its important to have, but until it is actually needed, you don't really notice if it isn't there. Well I got to the point where it needed to get some help or it may stop working forever. Guess there was some black ice on the road.

Now I tell people my right eye is lazy, which it is, but they assume that means that it drifts and wonders. Not so, its just you're uncle that is really fun but never amounts to much. My left eye is the brother that supports the whole family, but unfortunately, is at risk for getting burnt out. So here I am, sitting inside the ghetto Lake Street Pearl Vision, pupils dilated, looking at unisex glasses, trying to find something not too hip, not too dorky. I kid you not there at one point was only two white people in there, one working, one trying to buy new contacts sans prescription. After a heated fight between them, it ended with the male customer storming out, yelling at the woman working behind the counter, telling her to shove the contacts up her ass.

So I finally settle on a nice brown pair of glasses, but of course there are a million different kinds of lenses. Plastic, polycarbonate, reflective, sun coated, self tinting, fiber-optic, polyorchid, the works, pumpernickle, honey glazed, etc. Since I was eight when I last wore glasses, and I'm pretty sure I went with a style akin to Estelle Getty, I just started yessing and no-ing things based on my own b.s. cheap styles.

When I get my glasses, the woman asks me how they feel. I say fine. This is based on my 2nd grade knowledge of what eye wear should feel like. 12 hours late of pushing my glasses up my nose every ten minutes like Professor Frink ("The colors children", "Glaven!"), I had realized they in fact didn't fit well at all. Plus all my glasses wearing friends are (justifiably) starting to make fun of me for my new look.

Aesthetically, I'm satisfied. But otherwise, I don't know. Apparently my eye can't even be fully corrected, which sucks. I have an astigmatism, which I have heard of but have yet to look up on wikipedia. Half of the reason for these glasses is to protect my golden boy left eye. Which makes me wonder if I should get some rec-specs for when I play sports(you better rec-spect me).

So I have a new challenge of keeping my a.d.d. hands from pulling my glasses on and off every five minutes and also keeping my glasses from sliding down my nose every two minutes. Its a tough battle. I do look way more respectable and scholarly (according to Chaus anyway). If I'm spotted with a pocket protector though, someone please slap me. My balance of nerdy, athletic, emotional, and stoic is what makes me positively Libra. If my scales get thrown, then I'm just a stupid Pisces. With those silly fish apposed to each other. Like one one salmon is confused about which is upstream. A real Libra would take too much time to figure out which direction is which is go the wrong direction. In fact I've been thinking about this way too much. Guess I'm still a Libra after all. One whose vision is now closer to balance.

Friday Night Double Feature

It doesn't get much better then watching Gus Van Sant's biopic Milk and following it up with Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

This is what is wrong with movies today. Paul Blart is a formulaic, mostly humorless, slapstick, pile of shit. Milk is a smartly made, dramatic, humorous, subtle, and even headed look at gay rights and a key figure at the head of it, Harvey Milk.

There was more humor in on scene near the middle Milk then in all of Mall Cop. The scene involved Milk (played by Sean Penn) and fellow San Fransisco Board Supervisor Dan White (played by Josh Brolin). White approaches Milk after Harvey's 48 birthday party quite drunk and harassing him. Not only did the scene balance humor, tension, and the two parties different sides, it does so effortlessly and realistically. The whole movie felt like this to me and deserves every accolade it has received.

To get back to my original point Mall Cop made over 180 Million Dollars. Milk made 54 Million. Mindless fart jokes 1, smartly written , acted, and directed movie with a great civil rights message 0.

Catch 22: The Farve Fiasco

Sigh. anyone else would have done. Yet I'm not sure anyone else would have be able to do the job that he is currently doing. Let's start from the beginning.

17 years with the Packers, 7 division titles, 3 time MVP, 2 Super Bowls appearances, winning one of them. There is no doubt that he is a remarkable player and I have the utmost respect for him. But he accomplished all of this against my Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings- Packers rivalry is easily one of the greatest rivalries ever. Red Sox- Yankees, Ali- Fraser, Lakers- Celtics, Hamilton- Burr(short lived), Martin Luther- Roman Catholic Church. All huge throw downs. And being able to be a part of the Viks- Pack rivalry my whole life has been the cause of much anguish and jubilation. So at the root of that hatred of everything green and yellow comes a distaste for those who represent those colors. Mike Holmgren, Bubba Franks, KGB, the late Reggie White, Sterling Sharpe, Shannon Sharpe (through osmosis), Antonino Freemon, and chiefly Brett Farve.

Now that he is the Captain of my Vikings, I find myself torn. I like Tavaris Jackson. I think he has shown lots of potential when Brad Childress and Offensive Coordinator Darrell Bevell call plays within his strengths. But would he have helped the team to a 7-1 (should be 8-0, if it weren't for lucky ass Pittsburgh) record. Probably not. 5-3, maybe even 6-2, with the weapons we have (Rice, Peterson, Harvin, Shiancoe) and a still stellar defense. But 7-1, and arguably a top 5 team in the league right now. No. This is where the biggest conflict comes from.

Farve being the leader of our team is like General Lee moving to the North, Magic Johnson throwing alley oops to Kevin McHale, Babe Ruth playing for the Red Sox... wait, skip the last one, you get the point. I can't help but love how efficiently the offense is being run this year. Rice looks amazing under Papa Farve, but I can't shake the looks from Wisconsinites saying that we had to take their quarterback to be successful. Or that this all amounts to some sort of revenge tour from Farve. I even heard someone say it is Farve actually sabotaging the Vikings from the inside like Leonardo DiCaprio in the Departed. Farve should hope that situation doesn't play out, or he, Tavaris, Childress will all be dead, with only Rosenfels left to run the team into the ground.

I'm trying to get used to it. Fourth quarter theatrics don't help. Ultimately the best case scenario involves him just handing the ball off to AP, so I don't have to directly root for him. But as has been seen, he is needed to make this team great, which they have certainly shown flashes of. Sigh. Maybe I would feel better about it if it hadn't been such an ordeal to get him here, between the year with the Jets, where they would have to lose draft picks if he came here, to him being on tv practicing with high schoolers in Mississippi, to his eventual arrival via O.J. Simpson style Bronco cam.

I guess murder scenarios aside, I will continue to swallow my pride and root for the team I've followed since before Farve was a Packer. But Just know Cheeseheads, I not overly happy about it.

Mad Men: So hot.

Everything about this show is amazing. I heard it was good, but didn't want to jump into the middle of the show. I'm now on to the 4th-6th episodes of the first season and I'm totally hooked. Costumes, design, music, acting, humor, drama, Don Draper's (Jon Hamm) dreamy eyes. It's taking me forever to write this since I'm watching it right now. Jon Hamm. What a douche bag, but if he walked through the front door right now... I don't know that I wouldn't sleep with him.

It almost makes me want to start smoking, I feel like even a pregnant woman could get away with a Lucky Strike and a Martini in hand and the Surgeon General would offer her a light.

My only question right now is why exactly Peggy (Elizabeth Moss) would sleep with Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser). Easily the worst person on the show. And January Jones has a sexy superhero name and the body to match. Got to get back to watching.

A Whole New World...

We'll, that's not actually true. When it comes to blogging, I've actually made two previous forays into the nonsense. Nonsense of course being a topographical land mass more than the time waster (that it is). I used to simply Rant about randomness for a few months, get tired of doing it, and then quit. So, if I stay true to self, some time around President's day I'll probably just stop. Just like that. What happened Eric? None of your business. In fact, you're welcome for the entertainment and few minutes of distraction.

So what to write about? I dunno. At this point, I'm really just doing my insomniac thing and after reading some crappy blog i got linked to off of Digg.com, I thought, " I can do that crap again." I used to mostly Rant about stuff on my page on the infamous The 711 website, but if I'm actually going to keep this up, I should probably be less constricting.

What I will tell you is when trying to find the website that was my second blogging foray, I stumbled on a gem of a blog. Simon Says is what google threw at me first. This thing is awesome. Apparently someone throws a blogger awards. But the only people seem to be Asian. Which would seem to make sense given the blogger looks like he host the Malaysian Family Feud and the links on the side read like a Chinese buffet menu made love to a family of backpacker rave DJs. But I digress. There is an award for regional blog, despite that it already seems to be quite regional. I think I'll throw an awards ceremony in Minnesota and give out awards for east of the river and west of the river (but what about Lake Itasca Bloggers?). And the girl who won most influential... a blond Asian. Boo. Certain groups of people don't need to be blond. If I were to make a Venn diagram for this situation, one circle would say white people, the second would say everybody else and in the middle/conjoining circle would be the hair colors black, brown and white or grey(dependent on your Gandolf preference). Now I know that Rhode just said out loud
"That's Racist" and I don't care. Know you're limitations, just ask Melissa Joan Hart. That's why I will never grow out my hair (so stop asking).

Well first one is done. I'm getting tired now, so it seems to have done the trick. Hasta manana.